The 10 worst Olympic Games mascots, ranked
Embark on a journey through 52 years of hellfire as we rank the worst Olympic Games mascots of all time.
There are some who believe artistic pursuits are more important than feats of athleticism.
These people have obviously never seen an Olympic mascot.
Since 1968, the Olympic Games have been confounding and terrifying sports fans with a conga line of deranged characters meant to symbolise the host nations. They have failed. Every time.
With the Paris Olympics about to kick off, we decided to look back at the mascots from the past. It was a decision we immediately regretted.
Ranked from "best" to worst, here are the 10 biggest eyesores from the Olympiad's misbegotten menagerie.
Sukki and Nokki
(Nagano 1998)
Score: 1/10
We feel compelled to point out that these aren't some kid's hand drawn rendition of the mascots - they're the real things. A London based agency was paid handsomely to come up with these designs. Ask for a refund.
Neve and Gliz
(Turin 2006)
Score: 2/10
If the mountain men from Deliverance were reborn as malignant cancerous blobs, they would resemble Neve and Gliz. Astonishingly, these mutant hellspawn got to star in their own cartoon series on Italian TV spanning 52 episodes.
Whatizit
(Atlanta 1996)
Score: 0/10
Introduced to the world as "Whatizit", the Atlanta 1996 mascot received an immediate, visceral rejection by the world at large. He was subsequently redesigned and renamed but the damage was already done. Whatizit, we hardly knew ye (and for that we are eternally grateful.)
Schuss
(Grenoble 1968)
Score: 2/10
We're willing to cut this guy some slack as it was the first Olympic mascot and was also unofficial. With that said, if given the option we would still respectfully kill it with fire.
Olympic Phryge
(Paris 2024)
Score: 2/10
The Paris 2024 mascots were deliberately designed to resemble Phrygian hats, also known as Liberty caps. This style of headwear was popularised during the French revolution - including the Reign of Terror. You can infer from this what you will.
Athena and Phevos
(Athens 2004)
Score: 3/10
With the traditional discus and javelin available for artistic inspiration, not to mention the pantheon of Greek gods, we were expecting big things from Athena and Phevos. Instead, we got 2 Ziggy doll knockoffs.
Olly, Syd and Millie
(Sydney 2000)
Score: 4/10
We'll give Australia props for not plumping for the obvious kangaroo and koala, but these are still pretty crappy mascots. They were also infamously upstaged by "Fatso"; a fake mascot wombat introduced by comedy duo Roy and HG.
Wenlock and Mandeville
(London 2012)
Score: 1/10
In what was arguably the biggest desecration of London since the Blitz, more than 80 sculptures of Wenlock and Mandeville were littered across England's capital during the 2012 Olympics. This included a 2.3-metre monstrosity that frankly invited another visit from the Luftwaffe.
Vinicius and Tom
(Rio 2016)
Score: 5/10
Vinicius and Tom look exactly like b-grade characters from the animated series Adventure Time. Where's the Lich King when you need him?
Powder, Copper and Coal
(Salt Lake City 2002)
Score: 1/10
To paraphrase Nietzsche, if you stare into Coal's dead, soulless eyes long enough, Coal's dead, soulless eyes also stare back into you.
Want more Olympics news? Check out our complete guide to Paris 2024 and our tips for streaming the games ad-free.